I'm sad because I'm lonely.
I'm lonely because I can't find someone to fit my unrealistic expectations for a relationship. My list of requirements is long. My list of disqualifications is even longer.
When I do find someone they are already attached.
When I do find someone single, for example on a dating website, I can't get the courage to do something about it. I don't want to message them first because I'm terrified of rejection, even from a stranger sitting in front of a keyboard.
When I do find someone online that I'm interested in that actually messages me first, I'm terrified that responding will mean that they want to meet me. That it will be real. That it will fail.
This vicious circle of illogical thinking, insecurity, and fear is crippling.
Pretty sure the single cat lady life is the one I'm stuck in.
I wish I could get my shit together.
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