Things I thought as a kid

Definitely inspired by Jenna Marbles' video.

When I was young I thought the noise of a specific bug I have yet to identify was the sound of the sun shining in summer.

I saw the Disney 'D' as a backwards G for years.

I once read a chart that predicted your full adult height based on your age and current height when I was roughly 5-7. I believed in the accuracy of it entirely and got very upset when it predicted I would be 6'3" by the age of 21 when I was already taller than anyone else within several grades. I got to "only" 5'11".

Where are the Christian radicals calling for divorce to be made illegal?

So many Christians in America are complaining how allowing marriage equality will damage the "sacred institution of marriage" but apparently are ignoring the 50% divorce rate among heterosexual couples.

Britney Spears' two day marriage, Kim Kardashian's blatantly commercialized three month marriage, done purely for publicity, and television shows like the Bachelor and Bachelorette that turn marriage into a game have already turned this "sacred sacrament" into a circus performance. Where is the outcry? Why is it that heterosexual couples can blatantly abuse the right to marriage but gays have an uphill battle for equality?

Why are you clothes shopping with four children including an infant? Retail workers are not babysitters.

Yes, an infant. Yes, this happened.

A woman came into my store with three children under 7 and pushing an infant. She spent over a half hour in the fitting room, letting her girl toddler run around grabbing things unsupervised while her two boys tried to get the infant to stop screaming.

At the checkout, I got her information, including her birthday. She's 4 months younger than me... with 4 children and zero parenting skills. It's sad when someone like me, with no children and no desire to reproduce, can spot your zero parenting skills from a mile away. Telling your little girl "stop" halfheartedly and having zero follow through when she ignores you is pathetic.

Your two boys were grabbing belts off of the wall and hitting each other with them. Clearly this is a behavior learned at home. Clearly this type of parenting is not working out for these children.

Can't hire a babysitter for a couple hours to go clothes shopping for yourself? Maybe you shouldn't be clothes shopping for yourself.

Shit Talking Hypocrisy

It’s appalling to see a girl who spent so much time talking about how another girl looked like a dog, how she was an awful performer, how she was weird and awkward… and is now calling her “cute” and being nice to her face.

There are so many things wrong with this.